Snakes in the Club
by grendel17
Summary: A party at the club goes wrong. Everything sonic has ever worked for was now equivalent to wine & a ruby ring. It's captain falcon's birthday yet Meta Knight is crying. Maybe Money really does buy happiness. Rated T due to the mentioning of alcohol. CRACK FIC (i think)


**A/N: I was playing brawl one day and I was looking through some old snapshots we took. One in particular caught my eye, and I was like, "this image alone just tells an entire story" so I wrote one in like three hours. I made this story in june but decided to share it. Anyway, please read + review! it's slow at first but it's really funny haha XD Also sorry for the grammer and errors if u see any just ignore it**

** . /e835a64c1551da456990d5e08b439ae4/tumblr_njq40kifWf1qkbo29o1_ **

**this is the URL to the picture lol**

**Summary: it's captain falcon's birthday, he turns forty (idk how old he is I just chose a random number) So the guys at brawl want to do something special for him. However, sonic gets greedy in the process and Snake uses this whole mess as an opportunity to relive his childhood. Pretty much every character from brawl's in here.**

**_Snakes it the club_**

It was almost C Falcon's birthday so the guys decided to do something big for his big 'four-zero.'On top of that, our beloved brawlers needed a much deserved break from all that fighting and hard work.

Ike, Pit, Link, Snake &amp; Sonic were all sitting in an empty room planning for the special event. They were thinking of ideas.

"Are we sure we have enough money for this?" asked Pit. "And is this even the right thing to do?" Pit was the righteous one in the group. He was very concerned about breaking into the secret founds and also felt that it was living far beyond the means of the monthly budget.

Sonic rolled his eyes until they reached the roof of his skull and then let out an exaggerated sigh.

"Alright, Who invited goody-two-shoes?" Asked Sonic sarcastically.

"Exuse me?" Asked Pit, ready to strike the brash, blue hedgehog with great palutena's bow.

"Hey! Hey!" Everyone in the room held them both back.

"You have to understand, Pit. This is for Captain Falcon." Said Ike. "You'd think I'd seep this low if it were in vain?"

"Yeah," Sonic added. "and the old bird's turning the big four-zero today." He said, cooly.

"_Old_?" Asked snake. Sonic's adjective of Captain Falcon reflecting upon himself. Snake knew that it was a matter of time before he reached that age as well.

Sonic began to sweat nervously. That's not what he meant.

He scratched one of his quills behind his head. "Did I say 'old'? I meant to say.. Not old?" Sonic laughed nervously.

"Nice try." said Pit.

"Guys!" Yelled Ike, returning the others back into reality. Everyone turned and looked at him.

"We're getting off topic here."

He sighed.

"We have no choice, well have to use the "money.."

Everyone nodded their heads in agreement, except for Pit, of course. Everyone in the room looked at him until he thought otherwise. Finally, Pit succumbed to their convincing glares.

"_Forgive me.._" Pit whispered to himself then he too, nodded in agreement along with the others.

"Alright." Said ike sternly. "That's everyone." He then turned to link. "Link, do the honors."

"Right." Link nodded. Then, Link slowly took out his master sword.

Everyone looked at the shiny blade with awe. Link smirked like the show-off he was.

Ike nodded his head and with that signal, Link Smashed the tiny, 4$ glass piggy bank until it shattered to pieces all over the ground.

Everyone in the room tilted their heads to see the prize and the fruits of all their hard work. This was the moment of truth. To the brawlers' confusion and dismay, the contents of the piggy bank were nothing more than 8 dollar bills, three blasted dimes, and a stupid bus ticket that was long passed its expiry date. The guys looked at the pile of disappointment with their jaws agape. How could this be? Where on earth was the money they've fought so hard to earn? Where was it? And now what were they going to do for Captain Falcon.

"What the hell?" Asked Snake, picking up the expired bus ticket.

"_This is what we deserve.._" Said Pit with his eyes closed.

Sonic picked up the little amount of money and then clenched it tightly in his fist.

"We can still make this work." He said, determined.

Everyone looked at Sonic in disbelief.

"How?" Asked Ike. He wondered if this blue animal done lost his mind. But right now, Ike didn't care, he was desperate for anything.

"Heh," Sonic smirked. "I know a guy."

The others looked at Sonic confused but still hopeful. Right now, he was their last hope.

_**[The Local Bar]**_

"No. I will not do it." Said Mario.

"Aww come on, why not?" Sonic whined, his arms outstretched in an attempt to reason with the mustached man.

"Because I won't. That's why." Said Mario with his eyes closed, still wiping the expensive wine glass.

"Besides, are you even _old_ enough to drink?" Asked Mario. He opened one of his eyes, looking at Sonic suspiciously.

"That's not the point!" said Sonic changing the subject quickly. "The point is, I need you to turn this place into party. I promise I'll pay you back, man! It's for a friend!" Sonic felt very low having to ask one of his greatest rivals for a place to throw a party, but he was the perfect guy for the job. And it is very urgent.

"And what's in it for me?"Asked Mario, angrily.

Sonic smiled knowing he was finally getting somewhere after almost an hour of non-stop convincing."I'll transform this place." Said Sonic in reply. His face lit up.

Mario had an expression on his face that said he was interested in what this hedgehog had to say.

"I'm listening.."

Sonic hit gold. He decided to go on with it. "Just watch," Sonic persuaded.

"I'll put this old dump on the map! Pretty soon, hundreds of folks will pay this place a visit! Money will be pouring into your pockets. Sound good?"

Mario's eyes glistened at the hedgehog's words. It did indeed sound good. Business has been a bit stagnant here lately, and his sales have been a tad low as well. Him and his brother Luigi, who too runs the family bar, had to work a side job at Brawl to earn a living. It would be nice to be able to sit back and relax for once.

"Okay, I'm in." Replied Mario, reluctantly.

"Great, so all-"

"Wait. Not so fast, hedgehog." Interrupted Mario.

Sonic glared back at Mario.

"How much are we talking here?" Mario wanted to go right down to business.

"Oh... just about 5,000$.." said Sonic.

"Mamamia..." Said Mario wiping a sweat of his brow. He let out a sigh. "I'll see what I can do."

_**[Later that Night]**_

after Mario agreed, Sonic did as he promised and transformed this dump of a bar into a hot club for the masses. Pretty soon, People were pouring in. Mario and Luigi couldn't keep up. Everything was running just smoothly.

"Told'ya I'd turn this dump around." Sonic said with a smirk. He was flashing dollar bills in his hands and wearing an expensive looking chain around his neck.

"I hate to say this," said Mario. "But you were right. Thank you Sonic." It felt bitter-sweet on Mario's tongue having to thank his rival, but he owed him that, at least.

Sonic smiled, that was probably the best part of the night so far; when his rival thanked him. He wished he could have got that on recording.

"No problem." Said sonic, smiling. He then went to see what his pals were doing and went on to enjoy the rest of the night.

"Here you go" said Luigi serving up a drink to a young woman with blonde hair in a pony tail. Her name was Samus. She heard about this club from an ad.

After receiving her drink, She winked at Luigi. Luigi's face turned red.

Mario smacked his bashful younger brother across the back of his head and gave him an angry glare.

Luigi then continued to wipe the glass cups faster.

"Sonic, sonic! You were right! everything's going just fine!" cried Pit enthusiastically. He was all up in sonic's face.

Smiling, Sonic used one of his hands and moved Pit's face away from his. The smell of alcohol from Pit's breath was blinding.

"_Yeah_... Stay away from the booze, alight?" Said sonic.

The hedgehog then continued walking and examining everything to see if everything was going smoothly, but suddenly, He ran into Link. The hylian hero looked bewildered.

Sonic walked up to him."Hey buddy, you okay?" Asked Sonic. He took a small sip of his drink.

"Y-yeah. I'm fine." Answered Link nervously. In reality, He saw Zelda at the party and didn't know how to approach her or what to say.

"What are you, five? Go over there and tell her how you feel. Besides, She's been looking at you the whole time!" reassured Sonic.

"R-really?" Asked Link.

Sonic had no time for baby games right now. He kicked Link in the back thus pushing him towards where Zelda was standing. The two began talking shortly after.

Sonic smiled confidently and kept walking.

After a while, he went to the microphone where Mario was standing. Mario spoke on the microphone. "I hope you all are enjoying yourselves tonight!" His voice was dull.

Sonic grabbed the mic from out Mario's hands and cleared his throat.

"This night is especially dedicated to Captain Falcon! He turns the big 4-Zero today! If you happen to see him, don't hesitate to wish him a happy birthday! Glad to see you all enjoying yourselves!" Sonic yelled into the microphone.

Everyone at the club cheered.

All of the brawlers clapped their hands and cheered loudly in joy for their friend. Captain falcon just scratched his head nervously. This was all too much for the guy.

After a while, the music changed up to something with a very fast beat; now it was time to dance.

The club was throwing a dance competition.

Zelda was first but came in 2nd place. Zelda would have won if it weren't for her hair extentions flying out and landing in Ganondorf's drink.

Yoshi ended up winning that round with the best dance moves.

Up next for round 2 was Meta Knight. His song of choice was something medieval and classical, which confused the people at the club severely.

His friends were in tears laughing, seeing him dance seriously on stage was too much.

Everyone eventually booed him off the dance floor, including his fellow Brawlers.

"**You know not real talent.**" Said Meta Mnight in a deep voice. Then, with his cape, he disappeared into the darkness, never to be seen for the rest of the night. Some who were close enough to see, swore they saw what looked like a single tear drop slide down his face. But this was unknown.

After that disaster, Sonic offered to be the second contestant for round 2. He began break dancing. Everyone cheered him on, loving his incredibly fast moves.

R.O.B decided to give dancing a try so he went to the dance floor. To some of the Brawlers' surprise, the robot was a huge hit. Everyone cheered him on as he did the "human".

Afterwards,

Snake, Link, Pit, Ike and Sonic decided to take a little break as the music continued to flow.

Sonic was out of breath so he went to get another drink. That's when he ran into Snake.

"Wow. you got some nice moves, kid." said snake to Sonic.

This actually meant a lot to Sonic 'cuz snake was like, the king of dancing. It's a hidden talent of his not many people know about.

"Wow, thank you," Said Sonic with a smile, still out of breath from his dancing.

"Hey, you should give the competition a try." Said Link to Snake.

"Me?" Snake asked. "Nah, that's when I was a bit younger." He laughed.

"Oh come on, this is a celebration of youth." Said Pit. He had two cups of wine in his hands.

"I agree." Ike added.

"You think so?" Snake asked in reply.

"Hey, I tried it, you should too!" Sonic exclaimed. "Besides, You have some totally sick moves."

"Heh, from my days in college and in high school.. I was a dancing freak before I joined the military as a spy." Said snake with a smirk.

"Snake, come on man, just go on stage." They all insisted.

"Show them what you're made of." Said Ike.

Snake laughed nervously out loud.

"Alright, alright, I'll go I'll go. **But**; you've all been warned." His face became very serious.

All of them chanted his name out loud.

Smiling, snake pointed a finger to Sonic. "Sonic, play the song. Everyone else, stay back. **It's show time.**"

Sonic nodded his head with a smirk then ran quickly to the microphone and stopped the song that was currently playing.

"We interrupt you with a special message. We have a special guest going to dance tonight. Shrouded in mystery and silence, he decided to emerge from the shadows for this special occasion."

The audience was scared. They didn't want Meta Knight again.

-"They call him - Solid Snake!"

Suddenly, the club went crazy, all eager to see the next dance opponent.

The lights dimmed.

Sonic popped in the CD and played the track that Snake personally requested.

A single blue spotlight shone on Snake, who's back was turned away from the audience. The sounds of women screaming in the background were heard.

When the song began, Snake slowly turned around, facing the crowd.

**"It's showtime."** Was all he said.

The club went wild. Two women fainted.

After that, it was his crazy moves that spoke for him instead.

Snake did all sorts of crazy stupid crap that one with a spine could not dare to emulate.

His friends cheered, the audience went ballistic. The other dance opponents surrendered. The almighty Snake was just far too much for them.

Along with the rhythm of the song, the audience chanted out Snake's name &amp; did his fellow Brawlers.

Pit, ike, sonic, and link - the guys who all put this party together - all pumped their fists with their drinks in their other hands while chanting out,

**"Snake! Snake! Snake! Snake!"**

With that, Snake dropped lower and lower with each chant and beat. His hips were moving back and fourth and both his hands were in the air. He was bobbing his head with the rhythm.

**"Snake! Snake! Snake! Snake!" **Screamed the audience. On stage, Snake was having the time of his life, he felt like he was 19 again.

This was like a dream.

"S_orry, Captain Falcon._" thought Snake as he danced crazily on stage.

"And, looks like we have a winner!" Said sonic on the microphone, happily.

After the crazy song ended everyone cheered loudly, screaming out Snake's name.

**"SNAKE! SNAKE! SNAKE! SNAKE!"**

"Thank you, thank you." Said Snake, smiling and out of breath.

he then used a weird parachute-like device that took him up in the air and that was the last the club saw of him.

**/Afterwards/**

"We made so much money today. I really hate saying this, but thank you again, hedgehog!" Exclaimed Mario.

"Heh, too easy, piece of cake." Said sonic, polishing his brand-new ruby ring. He then looked at Mario through his expensive pair of shades, glaring at him suspiciously."Anyway, Where's our 15% cut." Sonic demanded sternly.

"What." Mario said angrily. He should have known that there had to be some kind of strings attached. Especially when dealing with this hedgehog.

"Don't _'what'_ me, fatty," said Sonic, angrily. "We agreed on a 15% cut of the profits, remember?" Sonic demanded. He actually made that part up.

Mario honestly didn't know what the hell this hedgehog was saying. The alcohol probably got to him by now.

"You're out your damn mind, hedgehog. We made no agreement about a 15% cut!" replied Mario, holding the jar of cash closer to his chest.

This angered Sonic. It's true that they never agreed to a 15% but he thought that Mario would at least give him something in return for his idea. It wasn't for him, Mario would have never earned this much loot. Sonic felt he needed some type of reward for that.

"You didn't even help with the clean-up and you expect a 15% cut? Go to hell, hedgehog." Yelled Mario Angrily.

Sonic abruptly threw down his expensive sunglasses on the wooden floor below.

"Why You stingy piece of-" Sonic reached out his arms, going to attack Mario. He was done.

Usually Mario would have dodged the obvious attack, but his hands were occupied with a jar of money so he couldn't move. Thankfully, however, Luigi was there and blocked Sonic before things got even more uglier than they were.

"What's wrong with you!?" Asked Mario angrily.

"I want my 15%!" Yelled Sonic in reply. His eyes were blood-shot red. Weather it was from alcohol or anger was unknown.

Ike came out of nowehere from behind and held Sonic back.

"Ike? Let go of me! Hey, who's side are you on?"Yelled sonic, kicking his legs trying to break free, but to no avail.

"Neither. I'm on the side of whats right." Said Ike sternly, with no emotion.

"_Ugh..._" Sonic groaned. "What are you, pit?" He asked in disgust.

Ike let go of Sonic and explained to him the situation. "Look, Mario was nice enough to let us barrow the place for the night. At least show him some respect."

"_Respect_?" Sonic spat. "The man ripped us off! Why are you so nonchalant about this!"

"Mamamia, This is why we get things written on paper.." Said Luigi.

"Sonic." Said Ike. "You used part of the money earned mostly on yourself." Ike crossed his arms and shook his head in disappointment.

Sonic looked at the expensive jewelry he was wearing. He even thought of the pricey drinks he purchased for several young women, who come to think of it, probably only liked him for his money.

Sonic let out a deep sigh.

"Ike, I'm sorry. You're right.. I've been out of control. It's just the money. It took over and..."

"I understand. But don't say sorry to me, apologize to Mario. More importantly, you have to apologize to Captain Falcon. It was his big day. Not yours."

Sonic placed one hand behind his quills. "Okay, okayyy. Yeesh.. What are you? My dad? Calm down..."

After letting out a dreading sigh, Sonic turned to face his red rival.

"M-Mario... I'm very sorry for what I did, what I said, and worst of all how I acted. I'm sorry." It sounded sarcastic at first but it was still sincere.

Mario nodded his head. "Real mature of you hedgehog. I forgive you."

Sonic smiled.

"My mistake is that I should have saw this coming..." Said Mario under his breath.

Sonic angrily glared back at his rival.

"Why you fat little f-"

"**That's enough.**" Said Ike.

"Nice doing business with you, Mario." The two shook hands like businessmen closing a deal. "Hopefully We'll see you soon at the Brawling arena."

Mario smiled and nodded. "Likewise."

Ike then turned to Sonic. He looked pretty pissed. Something about his honor and pride.

"Let's go." Ike demanded.

"Yeah, yeah.." Sonic said sluggishly. He was a bit drunk from all the expensive wine and couldn't function correctly.

After the two left the bar, Sonic stumbled as he walked, still a bit drunk from before. He could barely make it to the parking lot.

Ike couldn't even look at the hedgehog in such a lowly state. He kind of felt bad for him in a way.

Ike had no choice but to drive home seeing as though Sonic was obviously far too boozed up to drive himself &amp; didn't want to risk getting a DUI, or even worse, a fatality.

(Don't drink and drive)

Ike started up the car. The engine roared.

Sonic looked at Ike, eyes still very red and glossy. "Look. To make it up to you guys, and for Captain Falcon, I'll sell all of my jewelry and deposit the money directly into our savings." said Sonic, still slurring his words together.

Ike got a feeling he should record this seeing as though Sonic might forget his own words once he's sober again.

But Ike was a "live in the moment" kind of guy.

"You did the right thing." Said ike, pulling out of the drive way. A smile appeared on his stern face.

"Yeah, yeah..." Sonic replied, plopping his head against the front part of the car. He didn't want to hear this lecture crap.

They drove home.

**End :)**

**A/N:**

**I hope you liked it! pls leave reviews and tell me what you think! :D**


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